Stay Strong: 4 Reasons to Say No to an Employer’s Counteroffer

“Don’t go,” they pause and stroke your cheek. “I can change.”

You pause.

“Look,” they ask, barely able to contain their panic. “I can’t live without you. What do you want – more money? More respect? A car? I’ll give you all you want…” pleadingly, “… for real this time.”

But we all know they won’t change. We know they’re just saying it to keep you on-side.

No, this isn’t chapter 8 of some cheesy romantic novel. This is what many employers do when you tell them you’re handing in your notice and moving on to greener pastures elsewhere.

OK, maybe not the cheek-stroking part. That’d be one for my colleagues in HR to investigate.

I know I’ve used a bit of dramatic licence here but the point stands. When an employer realises they’re about to lose a valuable employee (especially one who may be costly to replace), they naturally go into damage control mode and bat over a counteroffer. It’s worth a try, after all.

So if you’ve recently secured a new position, only to have your incumbent employer provide a counteroffer, please read this article. Though there will naturally be some exceptions to the rule, I implore you to move on to pastures new.

This advice isn’t some brand new, hot take. Nor is it an edgy stance that I’m just taking for the clicks. It’s surprisingly well-worn recruitment advice!

So let’s explore the world of employment counteroffers, and why sticking with an employer might actually be shooting yourself in the foot. Let’s start from the top.

Why Companies Beg Employees to Stay

When employees leave, it causes a lot of headaches for an employer. There’s a natural loss of productivity; there’s time and effort costs to finding, screening, and recruiting a new employee; and there’s the rigmarole of offboarding and onboarding – all of which can be a drain on resources.

This is why, when an employee threatens to jump ship, many employers will scramble to try to keep that individual on board.

In many cases, comparable to a manipulative lover trying to win back their paramour, the company “love-bombs” the employee, promising them more of whatever they want to get them to stay.

This is especially prevalent when the employer knows an employee is massively underpaid and overworked. If they know that losing that team member will mean replacing them with one (or more!) individual(s) on a higher salary, then it makes more financial sense to beg that person to stay.

Senior management positions aren’t immune to this treatment either – far from it. In fact, it can cost an incumbent employer as much as 213% of a senior leader’s annual salary in order to replace them.

We all know that salary is rarely the reason why employees leave, but it’s often the first bargaining chip that a company will throw an employee’s way. And though the extra pay may be nice (or however much of it the tax man doesn’t cream off the top) you’ll still be dealing with the same politics, the same leadership, the same difficult individuals, the same bureaucratic roadblocks, the same BS!

It can all feel a bit manipulative. So I have to ask – is it really worth it?

Conventional Wisdom Around Counteroffers

The conventional advice around taking counteroffers is simple: “don’t.” There are a number of reasons for this.

Firstly, you felt that the grass was greener on the other side for a reason. If you are already unsatisfied in your role, a bit of attention, a pay rise, and some added perks aren’t going to make that situation any different. Ultimately, when the inevitable second honeymoon subsides, the problems that sent you looking elsewhere will still be present.

Secondly, counteroffers get sloshed around for lots of reasons. But these reasons are rarely because the employer feels any real connection to, or respect for you. This is especially true of larger, more faceless organisations.

You may have received a counteroffer because of the cost, time, and person-hours involved in replacing you. Perhaps your employer had started taking you for granted and have since magically come to their senses about how irreplaceable you really are. Or, perhaps most irritatingly, maybe your boss simply doesn’t want to report to their higher ups that they lost such a crucial member of the team.

By attempting to keep you on the hook, companies have their own interests at heart, not yours; regardless of how well they treat you while they are trying to keep you sweet. They don’t necessarily want what is best for you, deep down – they are just trying to make Corporate Stockholm Syndrome work for them!

There are also some pretty damning statistics about counteroffers that we’ll get to shortly.

But with some of the more conventional wisdom out of the way, I feel compelled to share some of my own take on counter offers. Brace for impact, folks.

Why You Should (Probably) Never Accept a Counteroffer from Your Employer

Toxic Workplaces Rarely Change

Like leopards, toxic workplaces rarely change their spots.

In my opinion, one of the most toxic traits of employers is their inability to tell that they’re toxic. In that situation, nothing ever gets fixed, they descend further into a swamp of malaise, and their poor culture eventually eats them alive in one way or another.

But supposing the stars align, the toxic employer gets a wake-up call, and they genuinely start to work on their bad traits. This might even get promised as a part of a counteroffer.

However, improving any part of internal culture takes time. You can’t wave a magic wand and instantly spirit away all which is toxic about an organisation. It can be an arduously slow process, especially when that toxicity is heavily ingrained. Additionally, if the employer has an external reputation for being a cesspool of negativity, they may also struggle to find fresh, non-toxic talent to start diluting some of the misery.

Personally, I’d take my chances with the leopard. It’d all be over quicker.

Related Reading: Employer Value Proposition: How to Turn Your Firm Into a Talent Magnet

It’s worth nothing that even in relatively pleasant organisations, the counteroffer itself can be toxic. The employer will promise you the Earth. They’ll rope in higher-ups to pretend they care when they never showed you the time of day before. They may even make grand promises about future opportunities… that they can’t put in writing for some mysterious reason.

Counteroffers Can Breed Bad Optics

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but simply by having accepted a counteroffer, you may be looked on with a dimmer view when opportunities and misfortunes hit the company.

Should a need for redundancies or cuts hit the organisation, the employer may privately – even subconsciously – view you as a traitor for having looked elsewhere; so they may sleep easier in letting you go. Worse still, they may see you as flaky or cowardly for not seeing your “plan A” through to completion.

But even when times are good, if you accept a counteroffer, you may be passed up for other, new opportunities. After all, you already got your “sweet deal” when you agreed to the counteroffer.

Perhaps most insidiously, the employer has been able to put a price on your tolerance for whatever reasons you decided to leave. In their view, you’ve effectively said “I don’t mind that this is a mentally draining, toxic, poorly led cesspool. I got a pay bump and a company car, so I am now happy and subservient.” You’ve communicated that, to an extent, your wellbeing can be bought and sold – even though that might not be strictly true.

Now this all might sound a bit harsh and to some extent hypothetical. I certainly don’t see anyone as flaky, cowardly, or easily bought for taking a counteroffer. You have to put food on the table at the end of the day. But these are some of the less-spoken-about thought processes that I’ve seen some employers navigate when counteroffers are in the mix.

What Bridges Are You Burning?

One misconception that I often see is that individuals think they will “burn bridges” by not accepting their current employer’s counteroffer. Truly, they couldn’t be more wrong.

Even before a counteroffer is on the table, an employer may already consider a soon-to-be-ex-employee disloyal for wanting to leave or for looking elsewhere. Arguably, a bridge has already been burned by putting their notice in.

And as discussed above, if the employee does accept the counteroffer, particularly judgmental employers may even think the employee is a bit lily-livered for caving and not sticking to their guns. That could be another bridge burned.

But above all, if you already have a new role lined up, the biggest bridge you burn by accepting a counteroffer is that of the new employer that you already said “yes” to. Not just the company as a monolithic whole, either – all of the stakeholders you met, all of the HR people that were ready to onboard you, and all of the people who were looking forward to calling you their colleague.

Also, it has to be said, it really smarts as a recruiter when we have worked hard to secure someone a role, only to hear they’re staying put at their old workplace. Some less forgiving agencies may consider that a negative mark against your name should you go seeking their help in future!

Counteroffer Acceptance Statistics are Pretty Bleak

Accepting a counteroffer is always a temporary solution to a problem that isn’t going away. It won’t solve your grievances with your employer. It won’t magically spirit all office politics into the void. In fact, by looking elsewhere, you’re more likely to drive a wedge between you and your employer.

Let’s look at a few stats:

• 50% of individuals who accept counteroffers from their existing employer end up looking for work again within 60 days.
• 80% of candidates who accepted a counteroffer end up leaving within 6 months anyway.
• And 90% of candidates who accepted a counteroffer leave within 12 months.

And lastly, 62% of employers admit to providing counteroffers as a tactic to retain employees – proving that it’s just a thing that happens in business. Not necessarily because you’re so precious to the company that they can’t live without you.

That doesn’t mean you’re not special, of course. You just need to take your talents to an employer who will appreciate your individual spark more richly.

In Conclusion: Remember Your Why

At the end of the day, we all want to say, “I love what I do.” In order to achieve this, author of Start With Why, Simon Sinek argues that “it doesn’t matter what you do, it matters why you do it.”

When it comes to counteroffers, remember why you’re looking for a new position in the first place. How many times your incumbent employer did you wrong. How many times you felt overworked and undervalued.

One thing I’ve learned from my years of experience in recruitment is that rejecting or accepting any kind of job offer has little to do with logic. It’s rarely tied to the raw figures of compensation, the better deal, or the material promises made by the offer. It’s all about the individual, their desires, and what they want from their work.

When it comes to counteroffers, we also need to consider the candidate’s relationship with change. Some of us accept new, positive change and jump in feet-first – especially when a new job offer presents a possibility of more fulfilment and satisfaction.

But some of us are more resistant to change, especially when it comes to employment. Maybe they fear having to deal with new people, having to learn new ways of working, and they worry they won’t succeed at their new role. It’s no wonder that some people decide that it really is “better the devil you know.”

An offer – or counteroffer – can make total sense on paper, but if your heart’s not in it, then it will always flop.

Remember that particular something which drew you to seek out employment elsewhere. That something which enlightened you to the fact that your current workplace just isn’t working for you anymore. And no amount of money or false promises is likely to fix that.

After all, you miss 100% of the shots you never take.